07
Oct

Life Below 10,000

The economic news as of late have been sobering. The roller coaster ride yesterday was sometDow Jones - 1 Yearhing I had hoped never to see!  It is amazing to me that in the past year we had hit our high of 14,198 on the Dow Jones and we have now hit our lowest point since October of 2004.

As I looked at the world markets yesterday, every single market around the globe ended in the red. The ramifications of the malfeasance of the few are now being seen around the world.

All this to say, where do you put your trust? Last week I listened to a sermon from one of my professors where he illustrated the irony of what is printed on our American currency. “In God We Trust” - Is this statement true for you? I know from experience how easy it is to get wrapped up in our personal financial situations.

Our current situation seems to be an excellent opportunity to realize that the things in which we too often place our confidence are fickle at best. These past two years have been eye-opening for me. I have been living day-by-day in uncertainty about what tomorrow will hold. Will tuition be paid? How will I pay rent? When will we be able to go grocery shopping again? I have been put in a position where I am required to lean wholly on God for my provision. And you know what? I can’t imagine any better place to be!

I have learned that it is never me that provides for my family. God is the one who provides! Often, He provides through me and my efforts, but it is vain foolishness to think that I am the one meeting our needs. I am thankful that I have been living through this trial. This lesson is one that won’t easily be forgotten.

As I see so many of my friends shaken by the current economic crisis, my prayer for them is that they too will come to realize that it is truly “In God we trust”, and not in our economic systems. They may fail, but God is eternally faithful!

The name of the Lord is a strong tower; the righteous man runs into it and is safe.
A rich man’s wealth is his strong city, and like a high wall in his imagination. ~ Proverbs 18:10-11

06
Oct

Life Update

Hey, all - Just a brief note to let you know that once again God has provided for us in a way that was outside of our expectation!  It is true that what God has done in the past He will do in the future - but He is too creative to do the same thing the same way twice.

If you’d like the details, visit Lisa’s new blog by clicking here.

God is good, and I stand in awe of His faithfulness and grace!

30
Sep

Expect the Unexpected…

Quick update! I have an insane amount of work to get done this week, but I wanted to pop onto the blog to give God glory for what He has been doing recently.

As I mentioned in my last entry, an anonymous individual called in and paid the remainder of my tuition bill. Wow! That is huge. Despite that incredible blessing, I still find myself staying up at night worrying about how bills are going to be paid, rent taken care of, etc.

But God is faithful! A while ago, I mentioned that a friend from back home helped us out with buying textbooks for this semester from my Amazon wishlist. Well, as the semester continued on, another good friend from Illinois stepped in and picked up some more books from my wishlist. They just arrived today! Just in the nick of time, too. I have a big research project coming up soon, and these tools will be invaluable for that project, as well as in future ministry.

Another unexpected suprise… Lisa and I hit the financial back wall earlier this month. We had exhausted what little resources we had left and are now living completely on faith. God provided a small internship that is enabling me to meet my primary obligation (child support), but that is about all. Two days ago, we were blown away by a grocery cart full of groceries sitting in front of our apartment door. Once again, Wow! We had resigned ourselves to dinners of Ramen noodles and saltines for an indefinite future. But God provided for us through some good new friends who surprised us with this gift.

As I study the history of Old Testament Israel, I see how they witness God’s miraculous provision over and over again. Yet they continually returned to a state of doubting, complaining, and running to false gods. I see that in my nature as well. Our rent is due tomorrow, along with a handful of bills that have built up on us. In addition, Lisa and I need to find new, affordable insurance. It is my initial reaction to panic, and to see what I can do to meet that need.

Well, I am in that terrifying (And by terrifying, I mean perfect) position of being unable to do anything to meet these obligations. All I need to do is look back over the past year and a half to see how God has provided for us time and time again. Just as we see in the testimony of Scripture.

You know what? I have nothing to worry about. Please join me in praising God for meeting our needs, before we even know what our needs are!

20
Sep

Humbled…

God is good.

It is amazing to me how time after time God provides for our needs. Yet when I find myself in a situation where I can’t see any solution, I panic. Then, at the last minute, God comes through again!

Lisa and I began this semester at DTS on an uncertain note. We had just moved into our new apartment, using the last of our money to put down the deposit and the first couple of months rent. I hadn’t bought any of my school books for the semester, nor had I paid my tuition.

Shortly after the semester started, a good friend called out of the blue, and bought the majority of the school books that I needed from my Amazon Wish List! This was a huge relief, as I had no idea how we would get these books in time.

When classes began, I still hadn’t put down a dime towards tuition. The financial aid office allowed me to start attending classes as I had several pending scholarships. Lisa and I watched with amazement as our nearly $8,000 tuition bill slowly shrank as scholarships came in. Then, we reached the end. $2,040 was left on my tab, and we had no idea how we would meet this obligation.

Once again, God provided in an unexpected way! On Friday I received an email from the accounting office. Someone had called in, found out what was owed for Fall tuition, and paid my bill in full! They requested to remain anonymous.

I was speechless. Often as we struggle through the weeks I ask myself, “Are we doing the right thing?  Is this really what God is wanting us to do at this time?” Having 100% of our tuition covered this fall by scholarship and anonymous gift certainly seems to be a confirmation that we are in the right place at this time!

We continue to live by faith. Rent is due in two weeks, and we have less than $400 left in the bank to meet our needs. Part of me wants to panic. But how can I, when time after time God steps in and shows me that He is in control. He is ultimately the one providing for my family. I have a strange sense of peace as I look into an uncertain future, knowing that it is out of my hands. This is a good thing - if it were in my hands, I would be sure to mess it up!

Am I supposed to be here? Everyday I am amazed by what I am learning, and everyday I see God’s hand on our lives. He is guiding our steps, and providing for our needs. That is the only place I want to be - in His hands.

Thanks for your prayers!

11
Sep

Remembering 9/11

05
Sep

a child of God…

Our chapel speaker this past Thursday was Richard Allen Farmer. I was amazed by both his musical ability and his ability to communicate God’s word.

Instead of attempting to explain the chapel service, I’ve embedded it below. Watch the whole thing - it will be time well spent. The video starts with a 30 second DTS commercial - stay tuned. The actual chapel service will start shortly!

29
Aug

falling short

I received an email from my ex-wife this evening that struck me to the core. I am thankful for the healing that God has granted in our relationship in recent years, but I am currently falling far short of the standard that has been set for me in the eyes of both my ex-wife and my oldest daughter.

I was going to write a bit more about the situation and what I am wrestling with, but I think it would be best for me to leave this entry simply as a plea for prayer. Please pray that God would give me wisdom, and that He would provide me with guidance. My desire is to “walk the walk” so that, as was discussed in my previous blog post, I might be able to be used by God to point others to Him. I don’t want to be a distraction from His glory!

27
Aug

The Chief End of Man

Today was a great day. I started the morning with a great conversation/devotional with Lisa and the girls around the breakfast table. We talked about God as an artist, and how we have an amazing opportunity to have an intimate relationship with this artist. The conversation turned towards why God created things of such beauty, like a colorful sunset. We also talked about the pleasures of biting into a crisp, cool apple on a hot day. God didn’t have to use the sky as canvas when the sun sets - He didn’t have to make that apple simply explode into flavor when we bite into it…Why did He do that? For our pleasure… But why our pleasure? So that we might give Him glory for the beauty of His creation!

It was so much fun to have all three girls (and Lisa) all focusing this morning on how we can give God glory throughout the day by simply opening our eyes and reveling in the way He provides for us, and does so with such style.Dr. J. Dwight Pentecost

Little did I know that this mornings devotional was a pre-cursor to my class later in the day with Dr. J. Dwight Pentecost. I am taking a class with Dr. P. entitled, “The Christian Experience in the Epistles”.

God has gifted Dr. P. with an amazingly sharp mind, and the ability to recall and present appropriate scripture at a moments notice. At 94 years of age, his mind is sharper than mine even on my best days.

All creation reveals things about God. And when it speaks, it doesn’t speak in a whisper - it shouts! ~ Dr. P.

The primary focus of our conversation in class today was the glory of God. This morning my family discussed our need to learn more about the Artist each and every day, and to give Him glory for all He has done. In class today we talked about the different ways God’s glory is revealed. Through creation, we can learn of the existence of God, and of His great power. Through the Son we learn of His mercy, love and justice. God delights in revealing Himself and His glory to us.

The chief end of man is to glorify God, and to enjoy Him. He is glorified when we reveal Him to this lost and hurting world. Jesus revealed the Father in everything he did, and in everything he said.

How can I live in such a way that those who watch me will come to understand what God is like? That is my challenge and my call.

Have you revealed the glory of God to the world today through your words and your deeds? I pray that we would all be able to get out of the way, and allow the Spirit that dwells within us to point this world to a God of inconceivable glory!

25
Aug

Encouragement & Hope

Today was my first official day of class. It was interesting attending when I have yet to pay tuition or buy my textbooks, but I am confident God will provide in His time! As I have often said, God’s timing is perfect, but seldom convenient. :-)

My first class this evening was Pastoral Ministries 103 (Preaching) with Dr. Kuruvilla. As can be expected, the first class was largely spent reviewing the syllabus for the weeks yet to come.That said, the class was still encouraging as we learned about some of Dr.Kuruvilla’s passions and what was ahead. I anticipate that this class will be a great time of discovering how God has gifted us as well as learning more about each other. The class size is intentionally kept small (12 students), so there is a great opportunity here to wrestle together through issues as a class, as well as learn from each other as we start to hone our preaching skills.

My second class was one I should have taken last year, but waited until this year so I would have the opportunity to sit under Dr. Hannah. The class is Church History - The Early Church to the Modern Era. That is a lot of ground to cover in a short period of time!

This class also began as a syllabus review, but as the class is nearly three hours long (!) we were able to dig into some of the meat tonight. Dr. Hannah approaches the subject of church history with the heart of a pastor. I was very encouraged tonight as he spoke. In particular, he spoke about how people often graduate from DTS feeling like an educated individual that is ignorant where it matters. He reminded us that our job is not to know the “How” or the “Why” questions. Those are questions that we will assuredly take with us to the grave. Our job is to know the answer to the “Who”question.

Comfort is not found in knowing all of the answers - comfort is found in the relationship we can have with the One who has all the answers…Comfort in life is not a “Why” question. It is a “Who” question.

There is such truth in that comment. When Lisa and I have been completely wiped out by our circumstances, absolutely despondent, we didn’t find any comfort with “why” or “how”. It is only through looking to Christ that we can possibly have any peace. He is our rock, no matter how violent the storm may be.

I can’t answer definitively the great theological questions, and I know that I never will - many minds far greater than mine have tried over the centuries.  But one thing I can do - and I pray I do boldly - is to point people to Christ. It is only through Him that we can find any answer that has any merit in this life, or the next!

I have no idea what God has planned for us when our time here at DTS is done. I have no idea how God is going to provide for us even in this next week. But I do have peace. It makes no sense, by my human reason…but I have no doubt that God is going to provide for us in a way that will make it clear to everyone that it was His doing. All glory belongs to Him, and none to me! I pray that I will live my life in such a way that I never steal His glory.

Tomorrow, the classes continue!

17
Aug

Pine Cove Experience

Our experience at Pine Cove Family Camp was like nothing we have ever experienced before. We left our apartment after an intense season of Greek, a move across town into a place that is smaller than half the size of our previous home, and complete and total stress. God in His sovereignty definitely had a hand in bringing us to Pine Cove when He did! Continue reading ‘Pine Cove Experience’





Spirit of the Rainforest

30/09/08 0 comments
Incredible book, but not for the faint of heart. Working on a review for it right now that I need to write for a class. If it turns out I can do any justice to the book, I'll post an edited form of the review here on innerstrife.com.

Experiment

27/12/07 2 comments
You may have noticed the "MicroBlog" under the new banner for the site.  I'm trying out using on a more regular basis in order to let those of you obsessed with my every movement follow me.  :-)  Is this a good idea?  A bad one?  Let me know!!  If you are really obsessed, you can click on this link, and have an instant message or an email sent to you every time I update my Twitter MicroBlog.

Innerstrife is Back?

25/12/07 1 comment
Wow.  That was painful!  Between finals in December and changing hosts and losing my database for innerstrife.com, this site suffered.  It appears as though it is back!  I will be making some tweaks over time.  Some functionality is missing, but I'm not sure if my three readers will even notice.  :-)  It's good to be back!