…olive oil for the light. Exodus 25:6

My soul, you greatly need this oil because your lamp will  not burn long without it. The wick will smoke offensively when its flame goes out, but it will not relight once the oil is gone. There is no oil well springing up from within your human nature, therefore you must go to Him who can supply you with oil or you will be like the foolish virgins, who cried out, “Our lamps are going out” (Matt. 25:8)! Even the consecrated oil lamps of the temple in Jerusalem could not give light without oil. Though they shone in that holy building, they needed a constant supply of oil, and though no strong winds blew on them, their wicks needed to be trimmed. your need is equally as great, for even under the happiest of circumstances you cannot give light for another hour unless the fresh oil of grace is given to you.

Yet not just any oil could be used in the Lord’s service in the temple — not the petroleum that flows so plentifully from the earth, oil from fish, nor the oil extracted from various nuts. Only olive oil was selected and it had to be the very best. Likewise, no counterfeit grace arising from natural goodness, nor imaginary grace from Go’s priest or his piritual ceremonies, will ever serve the true saint of God. He knows the Lord would not be pleased even with rivers of such oil. Instead, he must go to the olive press of Gethsemane and draw his supply from Him who was crushed in it.

The oil of true gospel grace is pure and free from dregs and other impurities; thus, the light it fuels is clear and bright. Our churches are the Savior’s golden candelabra and if they are to be bright lights in this dark world, they need a great supply of holy oil. May we pray for ourselves and our ministers and churches that they will never lack oil for their light. The beams of this sacred light are truth, holiness, joy, knowledge, and love, but we cannot shine them forth unless, through private devotion, we received the oil from God the Holy Spirit.

~ Charles Spurgeon

Hey all – Quick blog post.

Could you pray for wisdom and discernment for me and Lisa? One of the things that has been impressed on us over the course of this “interesting” summer has been the need for change. I am currently working a handful of jobs, serving in a handful of ministries as well as taking classes and attempting to be a husband and father. Now that Lisa is no longer employed as a nanny, our total income for all of my jobs doesn’t even cover rent.

Things need to change. We are looking at making a decision somewhere in the following spectrum:

• Either quit all my part-time jobs, find a full-time career level position and reduce my seminary course load to 1 course a semester. This would delay my graduation by a number of years, but would provide stability for our family.
• Drastically reduce my work and focus on family and school, driving forward to graduate in the next 1 – 1.5 years.

Obviously the second option is the most desirable. I don’t think that God led us here to seminary for me to go back into human resources and legal compliance. That said, it is hard for me as the “provider” (I know that God is the true provider…) to step away from work, even when it is not meeting our needs.

Later this week I will be publishing another post I have been working on titled, “Simplify” that addresses the insanity of my schedule and my tendency to over commit. That would be a large part of the current stress that is on our life. I need to learn to say “no” and not to be so driven by the opinions and desires of others. It’s a painful lesson…

Please pray that God would make this clear to us as we seek His will for our present and future ministry!

As I mentioned in my last post, on June 26th we had to rush Anja to the emergency room. Lisa and Anja’s doctor were concerned about an odd symptom. Anja was having strange arm movements on the right side. She wasn’t aware they were happening, but they were constant and interfered with her ability to do most anything with that hand.

That night in the ER was traumatic, to say the least. Anja had to endure multiple blood draws, IVs, a lumbar puncture (spinal tap) as well as a drug that played with her mental state, confusing and terrifying her. After about 8 hours in the ER, Anja was admitted so they could try to figure out what was causing these movements.

Shot from Anja's MRA

The next week was full of testing. CT scans, X-Rays, multiple MRIs, and many others were run, examined and often run again. Children’s Hospital was amazing. We had literal teams of doctors coming into our room to talk to us and examine Anja. What was impressive to me was the fact that these doctors didn’t just walk in, get what they needed, then walk out. They stayed, answered our questions, and spent quality time with us and our daughter. Amazing.

Our experience felt eerily like an episode of House. It seemed like every test either came up with nothing when they expected something, or it came up with something when they expected nothing! The movements on her right side are something called Sydenham’s Chorea. This is something that is often a key symptom of Acute Rheumatic Fever (ARF). This is very rare in the US and is considered a third-world disease. The odd thing is that Anja has never had a strep infection which is the cause of ARF.

They ran the first MRI just to rule out anything neurological. But of course, since they were expecting to see nothing… One of the most startling moments of our hospital stay is when the Neurology team came in to tell us that the MRI revealed “spots” on the brain and that they would need to run additional tests. As of right now, we believe that these spots on the brain are lesions that remain as a result of micro-strokes that Anja has experienced. This is a bit alarming as ARF typically has no neurological involvement.

Her heart, on the other hand, shows the classic signs of ARF. The cardiology team was able to verify that there has been permanent damage to the heart that has resulted in one of her valves being compromised. Fortunately we caught this early enough that immediate valve or heart replacement is not necessary. If Anja hadn’t manifested the Sydenham’s Chorea, within six months she could have went into heart failure. God is good!

Although we still have more questions than answers, Anja is now home! Her symptoms remain, although they have become more subtle. One of the more challenging symptoms would the behavioral issues. But knowing that these issues are a symptom helps us be more patient. This too shall pass! How can you pray? I’m glad you asked.

Pray that the damage that has been done to Anja’s heart will stop as a result of treatment. Although this is a condition that will require life-long attention and medication, if we can stop the heart damage, no surgery will be necessary. We will be seeing a cardiologist in a few months to see how the heart is doing. They are optimistic, as are we. If her heart stays the same, we’ll just need to continue medication and see the cardiologist every six months to check on things. If it declines, surgery is the likely response.

We will also be seeing a neurologist again to follow up on the unexpected micro-strokes. Pray that testing will reveal no new lesions, and we can walk away from this mystery unsolved, but no longer in danger.

Finally, pray for Lisa (and me). We need to find peace in this storm. Thank you for all your kind words, cards and emails. You are a blessing to us!

To say that this summer has been a little difficult would be like saying Moses took the Israelites for a little walk in the wilderness. Although I won’t dwell on the details in this blog post, the past three months have been the most trying of my adult life.

GrandPa's Funeral - Military Honors

During finals week for the Spring semester, I rushed to California to care for my grandfather. (I wrote about that here.) Although that was difficult, it was good to be able to see my grandfather. My father joined me on this trip, and I’m thankful for the time we had to talk in the car and at my Grandfather’s cabin. The day before I left I was able to have a long talk with my grandfather in the hospital as we were arranging for hospice care. I am so thankful that I had that opportunity before he passed away. Although I missed a summer class I had registered for to make this trip, that is a small price to pay to connect with family at such a crucial time.

I returned home – but it was less than a week before my grandfather passed away. Due to the generosity of my father, Lisa and I were able to fly out to California for my grandfather’s funeral. For many reasons, that was a very difficult process. It was good to see family and friends again, but this wasn’t the type of reunion one desires.

Once Lisa and I returned to Dallas, I turned my attention towards catching up on all the work that I had let slide with my responsibilities at church as well as preparing for my Hebrew summer class that would be starting in a couple of weeks. But God wasn’t done with us yet! I was excited and nervous to be preaching my first sermon at my home church. I was sitting at a local coffee shop the Saturday before I was supposed to preach doing some last minute preparation. Then came the dreaded phone call.

Lisa, in tears, told me that we needed to rush Anja (my 8 year old daughter) to the emergency room. I packed up, and drove straight home. To make a very long story short, that sermon I was preparing for was one that would never be preached. We spent several days in the hospital with Anja, going through test after test. She is home now, although we have a long road ahead of us concerning her health and treatment plan. I will fill in those details in a subsequent blog post. (Promise!)

Now I’m looking at the calendar and seeing that the Fall semester begins in three weeks. Where has my summer gone? Both classes I had planned on taking had to be withdrawn from as a result of all that has happened. This could result in my graduation from DTS being delayed a full year, but time will tell. Although this is a summer that I never wish to repeat, even now I can see the lessons God has been teaching us as well as how we have been fundamentally changed as a result. I don’t think we ever will have an answer as to “why” God allows what He allows…But I do know I can trust Him through it all!

As a result of my checkered past, there are many people to whom I owe apologies. Over the years I have attempted to do that, with mixed success. About four or five years ago, one person kept coming to mind.

This was a person from my high school and college years that I treated poorly. I really felt the need to find this person to apologize. The quest began. I utilized all of my detective and skip-tracing abilities in an attempt to locate this person, but to no avail.

A year or two went by. On a whim, I typed the name in Facebook – and there it was! Wow…The joys of social networking. I sent out a friend request. To my surprise, it was accepted. I sent a couple of “Hey, what are you up to these days” messages, and we had a brief dialogue.

But I couldn’t bring myself to apologize. I kept putting it off. I thought, “there is plenty of time. I’ll wait until the time is right.” News flash – It seems as though the time is never right when it comes to the right thing (the hard thing) to do.

Now, it is too late. My friend from the past chose to take her own life. Her death hit me hard. At first I didn’t understand why. I’ve lost friends and family to death before. Yet this one was different. I think I understand now.

Friends, don’t put off the necessary. Life is fleeting and doesn’t run according to our schedule. Reach out to that person that is on your mind and let them know you love them. Or you’re sorry. Or whatever it is you need to tell them. Don’t wait for the time to be “right”.

Or it may just be too late.

I have been doing quite a bit of reading as of late in the area of the constantly evolving world of media ecology. I stumbled across this video the other day, and I am compelled to share it with you.

Watch this video. Then, please, go read a book. Finally, engage in communication with someone using words, proper syntax and stimulating language.

Typography from Ronnie Bruce on Vimeo.