Just a brief update.

First, Lisa and I appreciate your prayers! This is a little overwhelming as we face the possibility of having to move in just over two weeks. Knowing we have friends who are praying for us is a comfort.

Now, the glimmer. I logged on to my student account to check something…And two scholarships came through! I was not expecting them based on the news I had received, but there they are. This is good news – Now instead of a $7,000 bill looming over our heads, we only need to come up with $3,200. Still a colossal number to hit by January 4th, but God has done it before, and we are trusting that He will make a way once again.

This does give us hope. Another option available to us is something called TMS – it is a way to pay our tuition over a span of five months instead of all at once. My hesitation in doing that lies in the uncertainty of knowing if we will be able to make that monthly payment. Between my three jobs, we often fall short of even being able to pay rent, let alone tuition!

That may change – as I mentioned in an earlier blog posting, I have a job possibility in the evenings that pays a little better than what I am making now, although it would take me away from home every night. Praying about that – would appreciate you joining us in prayer too! Tuition, Rent & Bills. Oh my!

מרנא תא

This is a very difficult blog post for me to write. As I type it now, I’m not certain I will ever click that publish button. It seems so long ago that God called us to seminary to prepare us for ministry. My friends and family are fixed in my mind one way – yet time has moved on for them. Just as God has been changing me since I have been gone, God has been working in their lives too. New children, new careers, new struggles. It is hard to lose touch with those who have become a part of my life.

…God is sovereign…

During my first year of seminary, we lived off of the money from the sale of our house while I focused on seminary. It was wonderful. We were able to completely eliminate debt (and we have covenanted never to go into debt again), and I was able to focus on my education and my family. After that year was over, I started to look for work so that I could continue to attend school and support my family. But the job market was tight. There were some jobs I could take, but the pay would not cover basic living expenses, let alone take care of tuition and the child support I need to pay.

…God is sovereign…

…God is sovereign…

Then came the opportunity to work. First one part-time job opened up. Then another. Then another! I actually had to turn down a great opportunity with good pay because I had already given my word to one of my part-time jobs regarding my schedule and longevity. Suddenly I was working three part-time jobs, taking a full course load, working with my church and attempting to be a dad and husband. Things shifted. The dynamic changed.

…God is sovereign…

Now we are in a new place in our lives. We haven’t been here before. We’ve often been in that place where we didn’t know how rent would be paid or how we’d get groceries that week. This place is different. The scholarships that I had received in the past are now lacking funding. Typically at this point I would be facing the new semester with 75% of my tuition covered by various scholarships. Now we are looking at possibly having to take a voluntary leave of absence from seminary. Since we live in student housing, once the tuition deadline passes, we will have 10 days to move.

…God is sovereign…

It is ironic (I think) that when I was unable to find work all our needs were met time and time again. Now I am working, and we may be forced to leave seminary, and consequently our apartment. I am 3/4 of the way done with this program, yet my time to leave may be coming sooner than expected. We always said that we didn’t come to DTS for a degree – we came to be equipped for ministry. That is still true. But a part of me desperately wants to graduate. I never graduated from High School. I never graduated from College. Yet God opened the door for me to attend graduate school to earn a Th.M. despite my educational history. Maybe I’m wrong in this…but I would like to know that I’m capable (with God’s help!) of finishing something.

…God is sovereign…

We don’t know what is next. Come December 4th life may change drastically. A hasty move…to where? A ministry or a job…doing what? Where? I’ve seen God provide time and time again. Why is it that this time feels so different? Never before have we had to consider a leave of absence from seminary. Never before have we been faced with the impending reality of having to leave our apartment within 10 days. Is this time different? Intellectually I believe that God is sovereign. But my experience – my sinful heart – keeps trying to tell me otherwise. Two weeks left. What is happening? What is God’s plan? This is an uncertain and scary place to be. I have to trust. No matter what happens, even what I would perceive as the worse case scenario, I need to remember that…

…God is sovereign…

Come now, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go into such and such a town and spend a year there and trade and make a profit” – yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes. Instead you ought to say, “If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that.” As it is, you boast in your arrogance. All such boasting is evil. ~ James 4:13-16

By faith Abraham obeyed when he was called to go out to a place…And he went out, not knowing where he was going. ~ Hebrews 11:8

…God is sovereign…

And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus. ~ Philippians 4:19

I honestly don’t know what to say. The past two weeks have been amazing. We weren’t entirely certain how things would come together in order for us to pay rent by the November 5th deadline. I had emptied the account I had set up for my planned trip to ETS/SBL in order to pay the rent the month before, and here we were, short again… (Click below to read the rest of this post)

I have a confession to make.

Despite my knowing better, I’ve allowed my desire for the approval of others to dictate my actions. I’ve allowed an anonymous detractor to take precedence over the countless others who have affirmed me. And by far the most egregious of all, I have robbed God of the glory due Him.

23 weeks ago (!!) I had an exchange with an anonymous commentator on my blog. This individual challenged me and leveled some accusations against me that were uninformed and untrue, although understandable. I only wish he had taken the time to gather some facts and ask some questions before he made his initial post.

(Click below to read the rest of this post)