Leaving seminary…?
This is a very difficult blog post for me to write. As I type it now, I’m not certain I will ever click that publish button. It seems so long ago that God called us to seminary to prepare us for ministry. My friends and family are fixed in my mind one way – yet time has moved on for them. Just as God has been changing me since I have been gone, God has been working in their lives too. New children, new careers, new struggles. It is hard to lose touch with those who have become a part of my life.
…God is sovereign…
During my first year of seminary, we lived off of the money from the sale of our house while I focused on seminary. It was wonderful. We were able to completely eliminate debt (and we have covenanted never to go into debt again), and I was able to focus on my education and my family. After that year was over, I started to look for work so that I could continue to attend school and support my family. But the job market was tight. There were some jobs I could take, but the pay would not cover basic living expenses, let alone take care of tuition and the child support I need to pay.
…God is sovereign…
…God is sovereign…
Then came the opportunity to work. First one part-time job opened up. Then another. Then another! I actually had to turn down a great opportunity with good pay because I had already given my word to one of my part-time jobs regarding my schedule and longevity. Suddenly I was working three part-time jobs, taking a full course load, working with my church and attempting to be a dad and husband. Things shifted. The dynamic changed.
…God is sovereign…
Now we are in a new place in our lives. We haven’t been here before. We’ve often been in that place where we didn’t know how rent would be paid or how we’d get groceries that week. This place is different. The scholarships that I had received in the past are now lacking funding. Typically at this point I would be facing the new semester with 75% of my tuition covered by various scholarships. Now we are looking at possibly having to take a voluntary leave of absence from seminary. Since we live in student housing, once the tuition deadline passes, we will have 10 days to move. …God is sovereign…
It is ironic (I think) that when I was unable to find work all our needs were met time and time again. Now I am working, and we may be forced to leave seminary, and consequently our apartment. I am 3/4 of the way done with this program, yet my time to leave may be coming sooner than expected. We always said that we didn’t come to DTS for a degree – we came to be equipped for ministry. That is still true. But a part of me desperately wants to graduate. I never graduated from High School. I never graduated from College. Yet God opened the door for me to attend graduate school to earn a Th.M. despite my educational history. Maybe I’m wrong in this…but I would like to know that I’m capable (with God’s help!) of finishing something.
…God is sovereign…
…God is sovereign…
Come now, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go into such and such a town and spend a year there and trade and make a profit” – yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes. Instead you ought to say, “If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that.” As it is, you boast in your arrogance. All such boasting is evil. ~ James 4:13-16
By faith Abraham obeyed when he was called to go out to a place…And he went out, not knowing where he was going. ~ Hebrews 11:8
…God is sovereign…
Hey man,
Just wanted to let you know that I have been encouraged time and time agin by reading your blog, and hearing stories of how God has provided for you and your family. In fact, at times even feeling a bit jealous because "God never does that sort of thing in my life!!" (Even though He does every day…funny how our sin nature jumps to goofy thoughts like that!)
I know God has a great plan for you, and without taking the verse out of context, I know that God will finish what He stared – which is preparing you for ministry. I'm not sure what God's plan is for you and your family; but I know do you are super gifted, and God is going to use you to in big way to impact the kingdom, as long as you stay closely connected to Him, and your family!
I just prayed for you, and your family; and even though I know you already know this; use this time to draw closer to Him. I know it's really hard to see from your vintage point, but this is exciting. I know God is up to something with you guys! Just think about how much over the last few years He has taught you to trust Him.
Isn't it funny how He can provide a thousand times, and we worry about the 1,001 time; as if He is going to "forget." – You, and I both know He won't!
God's doing a great work in your life – stay close to HIm. He will see you through all of this!
Love you brother!
Rick
Sten, Man it sounds like you are going through a pretty rough patch right now, please know that Daneen and I are praying for you and your family. I can really relate to what you are going through with feeling a need to finish something for once in your life. I never finished high school or college either. Now that I am back in school I sometimes feel like "Could I be putting my focus solely on me in this situation?" Yes I know its possible, I've done it before. I firmly believe in my case and in yours that this time I don't feel like I am doing it so much for myself, as to be obediant to what God wants for me. Time and time again I come back to the fact that God somehow wants me to glorify him by seeing this through!
Brian m Mitchell pt1
A few months ago Tim preached a sermon on trust, and your situation reminded me of it. He put it like this, Imagine yourself trying to cross a stream or a river, and you are stepping across on stones. Suddenly a mist comes upon you and your way is hidden. So you wait, and ocasionally the mist parts to reveal another stone. Sometimes the mist reveals 10 stones. Invariably though no matter how many stones are revealed to us we have the tendacy to rush towards the last stone thinking "Alright, now Im going somewhere!" Just to be stopped by the mist and left wondering "What now?" What we need to focus on during those times is that as long as we stay on the stone and trust in the Lord, as long as we do not go to the left or to the right and try to find our own way, eventually the mists will part again! I know the Lord has a way across this stream for you Sten, Just trust and and put your hope in Him, and know that He is with you!
Hope to see you guys back up here soon!
In Christ<><
Brian M Mitchell